Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
