He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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