Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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