I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize
