I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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