I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
