Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
