doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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