Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize