I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
honey bunches of taint.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
whose parrot is this?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
