i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
