How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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