so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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