I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
