HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
