Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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