God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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