wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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