Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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