You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
