We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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