Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize