3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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