Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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