Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
