Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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