I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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