you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize