Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
