and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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