everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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