Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
