So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
