How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
