the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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