im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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