I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
