There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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