The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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