just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
