Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
