In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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