guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
