I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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