I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
