Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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