I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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