wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
