i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
