Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
