He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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