Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
