I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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