there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
