when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
