it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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