Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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