Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
