How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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