His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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